Episode #9: What’s Your Mood Doing For You?
Welcome to episode 9 of LIT. My name is Ravi Toor, and I’m your host. To you returning listeners, so glad to have you back! A quick shout out to all of you who send me messages and emails encouraging me to keep publishing episodes. This
But for today, let’s get right into the 3rd and final pillar I know will transform your life if actually applied. Ready? Today, we’re going to talk about your mood. That’s right, your emotions, your mood, your bad day and how all of that relates to… ding, ding, ding, your state of being!
So, already, I’ve talked about pillar #1, self-awareness and pillar #2, focus. The 3rd pillar is your state of being. Here, we are focused specifically on your physical condition. Say what?! What the fuck does my physical condition have to do with my personal development or with my leadership development, Ravi? Oh, it has so much to do with all of this. So, let get going!
When I talk about your state of being, what I’m referencing to is the physical state your body is in and how that affects everything you do! You have to understand this is totally different than your state of mind, ok? Your state of mind is your mental condition. So, let’s stop here for a sec. Obviously, with leadership or personal development, we’re always focused on the mind, right? I mean, my fucking podcast show cover alone has a brain on it, so one would wonder why I’m talking about physiology when seemingly everything’s based on psychology. Well, here’s my answer, everything is interconnected.
I’ve been talking to you about becoming more aware of your thoughts, your scripts, the things you’re saying to yourself, and then things you’re doing or not doing based on the emotional response you’re having. I also talked about focus and how when you’re allowing your thoughts to run on autopilot, depending on your script, you’re either going to see the same positive or negative results. The more you focus on the same shit over and over again, the more you’ll attract more of it into your life. Now, when we talk about state of being, we’re talking more of the same yet we’re bringing into account your body and how it affects your emotions, your mood, your day, your impact, your actions and so forth.
So, over the past few episodes, I’ve been getting you to take an inventory of your thoughts. I’ve also told you how your thoughts have an effect on your biochemistry. Last week, particularly, I talked about neurotransmission and how during this process, neurotransmitters are released into a chain of events that allow the chemical message to flow through the neuron and potentially into another to produce an action potential. During that transmission, if the neurotransmitter is strong enough, the body experiences the chemical.
In practical terms, this is what that looks like. You go grocery shopping with a very specific budget in mind but when you get to the till you’re way under budget. That triggers a hit of dopamine which elevates your biochemistry, leaving your feeling happy which may encourage dancing, high-fiving or some funky ass shit that has your body moving in a happy state. Get it?
Now, let’s flip the script. Now, let’s say you’re experiencing something negative. You get to work only to find out your paycheque isn’t going to be delivered on time because the payroll banking account was hacked. Oh shit! Rent is due but you’re already living paycheque to paycheque meaning you don’t have the extra funds in your savings to cover the shortfall. What the fuck are you going to do? That’s when you’ll likely get a hit of norepinephrine sending you into a bit of a panic because,you’re experiencing significant stress. Physiologically, you’re hunched over, maybe your shoulders are hyper lifted cause you’re stressed. Maybe you’re a teeth clencher. Whatever your physical deal, guaranteed, you’re experiencing a negative physiological state. Notice how you’re not dancing or high-fiving anymore? Instead, your brows are furrowed, you’re experiencing racing thoughts. Maybe you’ve got that lump in your throat leaving you feeling like you’re gonna cry. Then your spouse shows up and says something that simply doesn’t hit your ear right and all of a sudden, you lose your shit. Get it? Good, cause I’m not done.
Alright, so that’s the quick guide to how biochemistry shows up and helps influence your state of being. But biochemistry isn’t the only influencer. Your state of being is influenced by a whole host of things. Your state of being could be influenced by say an ailment or someone’s actions, or your own emotions or… something from like a week, a month or even a decade ago? Ringing a bell?
That’s right! Your state of being can be influenced in many ways, however, your state of being can also remain in the same state for a really long fucking time. So, think about the paycheque thing. Let’s take that a step further. You’re living paycheque to paycheque for a really long time. So, every payday, you’re most likely to experience some money mindset issues that travel throughout the next two weeks with every purchase you make or with every transaction your complete. Then every time you open up your banking app, you’re experiencing negative emotions, sensations, and thoughts. Now, as you get off the app, someone calls you. You answer in a lowered tone of voice as you stare out into never-never land while you try to grasp why you’re such a failure in life. The person on the other end says “hey” all chipper
Ok, let’s take it one more step further. Say you talked to a friend about 10 years ago about executing on this wild idea of yours only to be told, “umm… yeah, maybe just let the Chelsea’s of the world do that. You should just stick to what you know.” Bam, your dreams destroyed instantaneously. Now, throughout your life, that statement pops up in your head randomly each time you try to do something for yourself that may be a totally unrelated topic matter but totally related to trying something new or believing in yourself. As that thought comes up, all of a sudden, you feel a physiological shift in energy. You’re not as pumped anymore. You did have strong, tall and rolled back shoulders but now you’re fixated on that statement. You shift your physiological state and all of a sudden, you’re not feeling it anymore. Then, someone walks by you and notices you look kinda upset so they ask, “what’s wrong?” You’re like, “oh nothing, I’m just in a bad mood.” “Why?” “Oh, it’s really nothing, I’m just remembering something shitty an old friend said to me a while ago.” You tell the person what they said. That person says, “fuck man, that’s shitty. When did they say that?” “Oh, like 10 years ago”… are you starting to get it?
Wait, one more example. Let’s talk about affirmations. Fuck, eh!?! Every coach you know tries to get you to rewrite your script by using affirmations but here’s the thing. What happens when you wake up a bit groggy because your sleep was harsh broken? You head into the bathroom to look in the mirror to say your affirmations and it sounds something like “I am powerful.” Fuck, right?! You’re not feeling it, you’re just faking it. Your body isn’t standing tall, you’re not intense when you’re saying it and, therefore, it means shit.
Let’s flip the script. In your seat, wherever you are, unless you’re driving or operating something that requires your attention, try this with me right now. Close your eyes. Sit up tall. Bring your shoulders up and roll them back Think about an invisible marionette string attached to the crown of your head. As you sit tall, that string lifts your neck and head even further. Now take 3 deep and quick breaths. You should feel that heart beating a bit. Now, with a deep and roaring voice, as you focus your attention on your heart, say “I am powerful” with conviction. Maybe you furrow your brows a bit, maybe your head moves forward as you say powerful. Maybe your hands move, maybe they fist up or maybe one of your hand moves to your chest as you say the affirmation. Maybe you feel a shift in your chest, you feel a tingling or a sensation. Notice the change in state? Now, do you notice a change in how you feel?
That’s how your state of being is affected and that’s how your state of being is affecting you.
Yes, your mood can be based on other peoples shit for sure. I mean, how the hell do you not have a negative reaction to something someone else does or says to you that brings up negative emotions, thoughts and feelings? But that’s the thing right, you can’t control the shit that’s happening outside of you until you learn how to control what’s happening within you.
So, just like self-awareness and focus, your state of being, your mood, your emotions, they’re all things you can control. How?
Well, the easiest way to control your state of being at any moment in time is to turn up that bass! What do I mean? Simple, turn on and up some music that’s gonna make you dance a bit. All I can think of right now is Meghan Trainor’s because I’m all ‘bout that bass, ‘bout that bass, no treble. That is the QUICKEST way to change your state. Another way is to force yourself to do some exercise, like jumping jacks right where you’re standing. That’s going to change your state of being, too. Again, these examples are also going to concurrently change the neurotransmitters being released upstairs. Now, you’re probably going to get releases of dopamine or maybe some adrenaline. What’s going to happen next? Those chemical messages are then going to release and produce an emotion. Now you’re feeling excited or at least you’re happier, more elated, right?
I’m telling you, this shit is all interconnected. You work on one thing when it comes to personal development, you’re going to simultaneously trigger and impact another area of focus in your mind or body. And so, that’s why I started with self-awareness before anything.
If you can start super small by becoming more and more self-aware, you can start to recognize the things that are impacting your state of being. Maybe it’s something you’re having to physically deal with every fucking day, or maybe it’s that rumination that happens right before you fall asleep where you’re thinking about how someone didn’t return your text message. Or maybe, it’s something from your deep past that never actually got healed so you were never able to really move on. It’s been with you this whole time.
Whatever the reason, you’re the variable that determines what state you want to be in. You’re the variable that determines whether you allow your bad mood to take over your life and decisions or whether you take over your life, decision and mood.