Episode #7: Remedies For Improving Your Life Using Only Self-Awareness
Welcome to episode 7 of LIT. Holla to all you returning listeners. Extra points if you caught my Missy Elliot reference there – Ain’t no stopping now! Thank you for sticking with the show, and brilliant job on investing in yourself. For those of you who are new to the program, welcome to LIT, the best place to be if you’re an aspiring or emerging leader. If this is your first episode or you’re a bit behind on older episodes, make sure to go back and listen to the older episodes in order to get a clear understanding of where I’m taking you.
For today’s episode, though, you don’t entirely need to go back, you just have to be present and listening. Remember, though, those two are not mutually exclusive. So, seriously, get present and listen. It’s
As promised in episode 6, today I’m going to talk about 1 of the things that will radically transform your life. That’s no other than, self-awareness.
Ok, so last week I talked about the 3 pillars I KNOW will transform your life like nothing else: self-awareness, focus and state of being. Now, I want to break each one of them down into digestible episodes so you can 1) really understand what the hell I’m talking about and 2) why these 3 pillars are vital to your success and transformation. Also, if you’re jumping on wondering why I’m using words like transformation, success, follow your fucking heart, or listen to your voice, today’s episode will completely clear things up for you but only if you’re actually listening. So, do yourself a favour, sit down and let’s get a bit self-aware, shall we?
First, let’s talk about what self-awareness is. To be completely basic, self-awareness is exactly like it sounds, focusing your attention on thyself. That means, getting to know yourself on an intimate level, creating understanding, empathy and increasing your intelligence when it comes to you, your emotions, your state and your person. Ok? So, really, I could stop the episode right here because, in all accounts, that shit sounds pretty important but I’m not going to. Instead, I’m going to tell you why it’s the fundamental piece to every single thing in your life.
Self-awareness is all about objectively knowing your internal self real fucking
So, already, you can tell how this is really the cornerstone to your life. If you know yourself real well, and you’re objective about your findings, you’re way more informed than the general public and you’re way more empowered and equipped, making you one powerful badass. But you’re not convinced this is so important are you? I mean, pretty much every self-help, personal development guru out there boasts about self-awareness and how you need to get yourself some. But because you’ve heard it so many times before, you’re like “sure, sure I’ve heard it all before”. But here’s the thing, I think not only have you heard it all before but maybe you really don’t get the magic power that’s behind being self-aware. So, buckle up, I’m about to take you on a ride!
In your mind, part of you rolls your eyes because what you were searching for in Google had nothing to do with self-awareness instead, you were looking for some shit like how to be more confident, or how to tell my best friend what’s on my mind, how to change jobs, why am I so unhappy, how do I not lose my shit at Christmas dinner, or how to do what I love? You were looking for answers to real life problems vs some woo-woo shit about going inwards.
But do hear those questions? Those questions are directly related to self-awareness, that’s why when you Google that shit, you get all sorts of articles from people like Tony Robbins down to Oprah or Gabby Bernstein all telling you how to become more introspective, creating an internal change through self-awareness. It’s also why I believe it’s 1 of 3 pillars that you should focus on in order to achieve significant and long-lasting results.
Self-awareness is directly linked to self-esteem, self-improvement whether that’s internal or external and self-actualization, being the best at whatever you do, whatever your greatness is. Self-awareness is also directly related to your intuition, your thought processes, the way you talk to yourself, your past conditioning and all the stuff in between. When you have a real handle on self-awareness, you’re more apt to have a handle on your emotions, how you process emotions, knowing your triggers, managing your reactions, even better… creating more valuable reactions. I mean, in essence, when you start to hone in on your self-awareness, it’s like holding the crystal ball of answers, it’s like going through Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within without actually going through the program, it’s like having the perfect relationships always, it’s like living your best fucking life. Do you get it? Kinda, right? Let’s keep going.
To further my explanation, I want to use an episode from The #AskGaryVee Show. The episode released on January 9th, titled “Call the Dude Who Needs to Get his Mind Rewired” was really an interesting episode. Mostly because the guy who was getting called was really like each and every one of us. A dude who’s trying to do something, something that would benefit him, benefit his uncle or in your case, someone you care about and would better his life generally speaking. The problem? He was so unsure, like crippling uncertainty. He didn’t know where to start and honestly, I don’t even think he knew exactly what he was so unsure about. His exact statement when asked what he needs help with was: “I just don’t know where to start.” When pressed even further, his uncertainty gets a lot clearer: “What if my parents are forcing me to go back to school, should I still worry about that or should I focus on helping my uncle?” Gary asks, “Why would you listen to your parents?” And so the episode continues and the guy gets vulnerable. But what the episode illustrated was how much we all live in our heads. We all live in our heads, come up with excuses as to why things aren’t the way we’d like them to be, get all judgy on ourselves and others, get more and more confused while getting further and further away from what we want, if we even know what it is we want. So, as the dude in the call realizes, he says: “So basically, I’m just working in my head?” YES, man, you are just working in your head.
Your head is a dangerous place. It’s not your actual voice. Your head is the place where the subconscious lives. Ooh the good ‘ol subconscious. Your head is the place where all of your past conditioning lives. It’s the place where all the voices from the past and even the current live and replay on a daily if not weekly basis. Your head is full of information, ideas, words, things, memories that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with everyone you’ve ever met, encountered, listened to…you get the gist right?
So, where is your actual voice? That one? It lives in your heart. Urhm, remember, listen to your fucking heart? That’s right, your authentic voice, your crystal ball, your informed decisions, your confidence, your empowerment, your direction, your life all lives in your heart, where your authenticity is, where you are. That means, when you practice self-awareness, you’re tapping out of what you’re used to, living in your head on autopilot and into what’s most uncomfortable for many, getting jiggy with yourself.
This dude, all he really needed to do, and trust me it sounds easier said than done, was to quiet his mind, maybe through breathing and meditation or through journaling, and listen to what his heart was saying. Dude, what do you want to do with YOUR life? Dude, where do YOU want to go? Dude, what’s most important to YOU? Dude, what about YOU?
Often, we get real nervous trusting ourselves, and rightfully so especially when we’re not used to listening to our true selves. But when you turn on the magic of self-awareness, you get the answers to your most Googled questions about your real life issues. You develop strong self-esteem, unwavering confidence. You develop your voice, so you know whether you want to go to school or if you want to start a business. You develop your listening skills, so you know if you want to switch jobs or if you want to stay exactly where you are. You develop emotional regulation, so you don’t get triggered by Uncle Frank (a throwback to Home Alone, y’all), and instead, you’re balanced so Uncle Frank ain’t a trigger anymore. Kevin, come and speak to me, man!
All jokes aside, are you seeing the results? And here’s the thing, these are just a few results. When you’re self-aware, you take all of the guessings out of things. You hear your voice, your ideas, your aspirations and your goals. You’re focused, you know what you need and you know what to do. You’re lighter, you’re not carrying a shit ton of baggage around everywhere you go. You’re not on autopilot, you’re not simply responding as you’ve been conditioned throughout your life, you’re responding as you, the most amazing individual on this fucking planet. When you become self-aware, you’re full of the answers you’re Googling, and you’re certain beyond doubt which truly empowers the shit out of you. When you mix up that cocktail, do see how potent it is? Do you see how you can all of a sudden create massive transformation? Maybe, you decide you need better friends. Or maybe you decide you want to be more assertive because you being the butt of Uncle Frank’s jokes all the time is just fucking tired. Maybe you realize you hate working in a cubicle and you’re ready to unleash your creative self that’s always drawing amazing artwork in her spare time.
My hopes, when you get self-aware, you hear how much of a leader you really are. You recognize your skill set, your strengths and what you’re naturally good at. You then execute on those passions, those inner passions of yours and make the difference we’re all looking for. Because that’s how leaders emerge. They realize their own abilities, they recognize they can affect change and they realize there’s a need for change. They didn’t realize this shit from someone else, cause let’s face it, no one’s as into your success and growth as much as you. Successful leaders hear themselves through a ritualistic practice of connecting with themselves through self-awareness. And, that’s why I’m pushing this often talked about but majorly misunderstood concept. This is how I go on a mic and decided to spew shit so y’all could get motivated, educated and start moving in a direction that’s not only aligned with your true self but moving in a direction that makes you the happiest you’ve ever been. Because isn’t that really the big overarching problem? People are so fucking miserable today that we’re not even sure what to do anymore cause the old methods aren’t working!
So, what I’m saying is, sure, you’ve heard it all before but the reality is this, you’ve heard it but understood it less. Take this episode at face value and understand your happiness and your leadership all live in the exact same place, your heart. And the only way to actually access your crystal ball of answers vs the over complicated and very confusing Google is through self-awareness.
In the words of the great Chinese philosopher Lau Tzu – “Mastering others is