Episode #12: How to Find solutions using resourcefulness
Welcome to episode 12 of LIT! My name is Ravi Toor and I’m your host. I want to begin this episode with 2 things. First, an apology for the delay in getting this episode up. My computer died on Tuesday and took everything that wasn’t backed up on my external hard drive with it. If you haven’t been so lucky to have your computer die just like that, let me tell you, it’s a paralyzing experience. That means, yesterday’s episode was toast. Second, I want to give a big shout out and massive thanks to On Site Geeks. They’re a local IT company that saved my fucking life. No, they weren’t able to save my computer because that shit was officially fried, but On Site Geeks was able to help me and really get creative to ensure I was able to produce episode 12. Thank you On Site Geeks and my tech, Harsimran, y’all are angels.
Earlier this week I had recorded a totally different episode but with the events of the last 48 hours or so, I figured, my computer dying was a great segway to today’s topic. So, let’s talk about self-actualization, bumps in the road and resourcefulness at its finest.
If you’ve been consistently following the last 11 episodes, you know I’m all about pushing each of you to finally step into your authenticity and accept your passions and truths for what they really are and then utilize personal growth to help you achieve self actualization so you can be so fucking happy, stable, successful and secure all while making a positive ripple impact in your community and the world. Well, it’s great when all that shit works out without a hitch, but what happens when there’s a hitch? What happens when you’re making the move to change your life, to finally do what you know you’re meant to be doing, to finally start building a life on purpose and then, just like that with no real explanation, things go haywire? And in a microsecond you dreams seem impossible to reach? It can be totally and utterly defeating. It can leave you feeling paralyzed. You might start asking yourself questions like why the fuck did I even decide to do this? 100% I know you know what I’m talking about because even if you aren’t applying this reflection to some grandiose ideology of self-actualization, I know you’ve been set back before in other areas of your life and have had many of these questions and concerns stream through your mind. All of a sudden, your quote good idea unquote seem like really bad fucking idea.
Well, first, I’m here to tell you that’s pure bullshit, OK? Making a move to better your life, to make yourself happier and to increase your opportunities when done with good intent, is never ever a bad idea. It’s actually the best! However, life is tricky, tricky sometimes and just when you think you’re doing well, you get thrown a curve-ball, much like my computer dying. Does that mean I should stop producing? Does that mean I should get myself a full time job and leave the warrior work to someone else who’s more equipped to handle curve-balls? Fuck no! Instead, what that means is life handed me a lemon and I can either choose to say I can’t do shit with this or I can make lemonade, squeeze that juice for some dinner recipe, use it to clean my skin or use it to disinfect surfaces. Get it? Like the lemon, when things go wrong or take an unexpected turn, you can choose to look at things in a negative way and think there’s no hope, you’re never going to amount to anything and continue down that negative cognitive chatter spiral or, you can change your perspective and get resourceful. Look at things in a more realistic and objective way and then figure out how you can get yourself to the next point you need to be. Sure, my computer failed. In that moment, I was paralyzed. But that was just in that moment. What needed to happen first was I had to grieve, process some of the emotions. And, I don’t know if I grieved as much as I raged, but there was some emotional processing that needed to be done with a stress ball bouncing all over my desk. OK, good, I got some of that energy moving outside of me. Now, what can I fucking do? Well, I have my phone to do pretty much anything I need it to do with some certain limitations. And, here’s the irony of my particular story. It just so happens, my device itself works real well, but my wireless provider has been pretty shitty so I haven’t been able to make calls for the last while and me and my car are stuck in the most bizarre snow storm BC’s experienced in a really long fucking time. So, with all these things stacked up against me, one would think I would’ve just given up. But, that’s not really the case.
This podcast, my work, and my dreams are highly important to me. It’s what I’m meant to do. I know this. I believe this. So, instead of letting all of these obstacles overpower me, I reminded myself how fucking smart I was and how many other situations I’ve gotten myself out of, gone through or gone around in order to get to my destination and with that reminder, I picked up my phone and started sending early morning texts to see who could come and pick me up, let me use their phone to call On Site Geeks and who could lend me a computer for the day. Ding, ding, ding, I got me a winner. My sister was like, yup, let me bring my big SUV over to you and help you out. From there, shit started to change in my mind. I could think a bit clearer. Sure, I had lost a ton of work and time but I didn’t lose all of it. And sure, there was probably no way I was gonna be able to post my episode on Wednesday but that didn’t mean I couldn’t post on Thursday or Friday or any other fucking day of the week. Sure, I knew some of my numbers would drop because my audience expects to find an episode on Wednesday, but I know I can gain back listeners and create new listeners.
When my sister picked me up, I noticed things started to change even more. Just a change in scenery was all I needed to start calming my emotions even more, allowing me to become even more creative in my attempts to salvage my day and produce my episode. Just looking at the beauty the snow storm had left behind gave me a minute of pause, a moment to soak in Mother Nature’s beauty. Fuck, all of a sudden, things weren’t looking so bleak in my life. And remember episode 4? That’s where I talked about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Interestingly enough, I found myself in Stage 6 the Aesthetic Needs. I was immersed in nature which gave me a moment of pause, a new perspective, a more positive outlook and a new invigoration. So, here I was, getting recharged by good ‘ol Mother Nature. Who would have thunk, right?
Fast forward to working with On Site Geeks. I give them a call and let them know what’s up. They told me, see you in a couple of hours. I thought for real? You have to understand, things were pretty icy and snowy and, well, let’s get real, BC is not equipped to handle snow of any kind but the type of snow where it’s been snowing for pretty much 2 days straight without any stopping. So, I was kinda blown away at the fact that these guys were willing to come and help me out in the same day. When they finally got to my place, it was pretty evident, my computer needed to be replaced. I was like OK, I mean, not what I was expecting to be dealing with today, but sure, I’ll buy a new computer. But, they didn’t have the computer on them. So what the fuck was I going to do in the next 24 hours? I could call it a snow day and be miserable all day because I’m stuck in rumination or, On Site Geeks could go over and beyond my expectations and leave me with the tech’s computer. Seriously, whaaaaaat? That’s right! I asked the right question before allowing my internal freak out to take over. I asked, what do I do in the next 24 hours without a computer? Oh, well, we have a solution for that.
When you’re objective, and when you’re simply solution focused vs being stuck in the problem, you’re able to ask the right questions. You’re able to think clearly and remind yourself what you need. In my instance, I needed a computer but I didn’t know what to do. So, you know that saying, “No question is too stupid?” Well, it’s true. If you don’t know, just ask and you will get the answer. And did I get an answer or what?! I got more than an answer, I got help. I asked and I got help. And when you step back and look at all the parameters of this insane story that should have ensured I would give up, all I did was stop and ask for help throughout the day and I received each and every time. Was it exactly what I was expecting? No, it wasn’t! I didn’t have my own computer, I was totally late to produce, I couldn’t borrow my sister’s computer for the day and I was totally thrown out of my comfort zone but everything I needed, I was provided for as long as I had resolve. As long as I knew deep in my heart that I, come hell or high water, was going to fucking produce episode 12 – and write client emails and my newsletter and all the other good stuff I do, I was going to find a way. Things were going to work out and all I had to do was put one foot in front of the other at all times.
And now, you’re listening to episode 12. It’s also become the most epic story and experience of my solopreneur life. It was all totally unexpected and should of, by all accounts, laid me flat on my ass, but I had a purpose. I had a will, I had a drive, I’m pretty fucking smart and I knew, this shit wasn’t going to stop me from doing what I love, keep me from reaching my potential and keep me from reaching my dreams. This was just a blip in the road, an obstacle but nothing permanent. Instead, this was just a test of my resolve. Do I want this? Fuck yes. Am I capable, hell yeah. Will I get through this, you better bet your bottom dollar.
And so, what does this mean for you? Well, aside form the nuances and the direct messages of relying on resourcefulness to get you through hard times, unexpected glitches and moments when things seem like they’re never going to work out, it’s a message to remind you how capable you really are. In your life, take account of how many situations you’ve turned around for yourself, big or small. You’ve done it, I know, because it’s impossible to not have been resourceful in your life. It’s impossible to not have figured out a way when you really, really, really needed it and wanted it.
So, the next time life hands you a lemon when you’re focused on your dreams, take that moment to process the emotion of receiving that fucking lemon then get creative. There’s nothing too big or too small to stop you. You’re meant for massive things in life. Don’t let some glitch get the best of you, instead, get stronger in your resolve, remember, your dream. Get realistic and objective and ask, ask, ask until, you receive.
You are not the sum of your problems, you’re the sum of your resourcefulness. Remind yourself of this and go get yours.